"Our Sunset"

There were no words for such a long time - no lyrics, no journaling. How could a pen and paper keep up with all the thoughts and feelings in my head? When I tried to write, I felt tears about to fall and I felt sick to my stomach. No words could ever explain all that comes with grief and trauma. But as time passed, words felt more and more accessible to describe what happened, and help me understand how I feel. It was so important for me to write this song, for so many reasons. It has helped me process and feel connected. I knew if I didn’t write this song, it would try to write itself in every other song, dance, or piece of art I create - it wanted to come out of me. And although it was hard, I stood patient with myself in trying to find the right words, and eventually I completed it.

Yes, a lot of performative art is for the audience - what looks best, what would read best, how the audience would follow a storyline, how can we make the audience relate, etc., but this song is truly for a select group of people. It is for myself, peers, and for our two dancing angels. Of course, if you can relate to it or find joy from it I am so thankful, but there is a major difference in intention. That’s something I had to keep in mind while writing and creating this song; not to be attentive to how the audience will feel it, but more so to how I feel it, and what feels right to me. Creating a song fully for your own healing and processing almost feels like a gift of self love. I cannot stress enough how much I needed to create this song.

Our two angels dance in the sky every evening to remind us that life is a beautiful, colorful, vibrant gift. The sunset will never just be a pretty view - it is our girls reminding us we’re not alone, and to shine like them, and grow with them.

I hope you all know how loved you are, and understand your importance to this world. Thank you for standing strong, and being brave enough to live through each day. It is truly a gift - never take it for granted.

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